Fire Demon

My Fire Demon is called Calsifer. It is the voice that speaks loudly to me. Calsifer has become more persistent and without rest or peace or harmony. I now speak my thoughts out loud. When they enter the world I am shocked. They crossed over from mind into voice. And I must appear crazy. But my thoughts, even though they come at me, loudly and without pretense are still something I can chose. I am different from a plant or dog in that I can chose the thoughts, even if they came to me in an uncontrolled way.

In your desire to be acknowledged, you say your thoughts are what they are and this is where I am. And leave it at that. As if you are a victim of your circumstance that has caused you to have such thoughts in the first place. Your solution seems to be that you should not be having that experience to have caused you to feel the way you do. But what is needing to happening is happening, and the experience you are having, is the one you need to have at this moment. And you chose your thoughts from the ones you are having and you chose your outcome from the input you are getting.
Not choosing is also a choice.

A very wise Korean man once told me: "If you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem."